August 26,2025

 

I think my sole problem is procrastination, I wait for the perfect moment to say things, even to you. Does it do me any good?? Absolutely Not!!

It only makes me more sick, not saying things, even to my family, not saying how often you all cross my boundaries. As if my privacy doesn't matter, I am a bloody adult now. 

Once in a while I yell, and then I regret it instantly. Is it my fault? I try my best not to yell, but somehow people around give me a chance to yell. I complain sometimes, cry even. Okay I wanted to be heard. But that too doesn't solve my problem.

I tried to convince myself I will not take revenge, there are things far more important in Life that I want to achieve, Revenge is a small thing. What if I change my strategy instead. I never wanted to shame anybody, I'm just too good of a girl. I only want to teach them a valuable lesson, for their own good. 

Slow and Steady Wins the Race! 🐢 Right?

I think one should not be a hypocrite to oneself, it's not about being right or wrong, it's about what's best for Me. In my case, my boundaries, my privacy, my mental health, and my career are not negotiable.

I love the people around Me, I Love you like crazy, but I Love myself more. And it's not selfish.

Forever 

K.

August 25,2025

 I guess, all I needed was a sense of purpose, a life of my own, some kind of accomplishment. And guess what, I think I have it now, hopefully I will not bother you much from now on, I'm not sure if you would like that. I mean I'd been feeling like this since last two years. not having anything practical to do, often does this to all the precious souls. I guess we are old enough to understand this Now. 

What is the point of a relationship, if one can not understand the simplest of things, men or women they need their own purpose in life, to remain busy, otherwise it only spreads negativity. I have never seen the TV serial watching house wives happy, maybe they are happy, or just more cunning. Either way, I am glad I have a job now. Now my precious energy will be spent elsewhere. and I am living for it.

Love

K.

August 24, 2025

 I never looked for easy projects, always chose the hardest path. I took pride in winning. Many of them never paid off, but I never wanted to quit. Never gave up on myself and my dreams. 

I guess that's the problem. The time has come, how I dreaded it always, that everybody will see and say, poor thing, she tried so hard, fought all the way, and what for?? This??

Nothing, absolutely Nothing!! No emotions, No answer, lack of communication, let alone language barriers. It's hard at my age, I always knew, I'm not mentally numb anymore, I'm fully aware of my surroundings, what people are thinking, commenting, and why not?? Everybody can have their opinion, I have pretty strong opinions myself, but I choose not to engage with people who are lost and depressed. 

I let out my frustration on you instead, because I felt like I had a right to it. Things have changed, venting doesn't solve my problems, and I always knew it would happen sooner or later. The same old story being repeated. I CAN'T BECAUSE I HAVE RESPONSIBILITIES.

Always the same scenerios, there are no wrong decisions in life, it's always about priorities, and I came to realize the more we see lives of others, the more we lack focus on ours. Nobody will come to pay for your groceries, and even if they did, I wouldn't accept it, that's the kind of person I am. PRIDE!!

So from now on, there are no complaints, just work, not stopping, I have a long way to go, my goals require working my 🍑 off. And I'm not even kidding. 

PS

I Love you

K.